eternity.

This is weighing so heavy on my heart now. You took away so much of me, I feel as though I'm left with nothing now. I know, there's still that small part of me left, but It doesn't feel like it's there. I feel so hollow. I feel so dead on the inside. This shouldnt be happening, but everything's rushing back, and there's no stopping now. Everything's around you, but you're nowhere near me.

My fear of holding hands, my fear of hoping too much, my fear of disappointment, my fear of rejection and hurt, my fear of being able to love. You, came, and you gave me so much faith and hope, you gave me reason to let down my guard. And now, you've started all of it again. You stop and start, and you stir too many emotions in me, its playing with my head, it's playing with every part of me. I feel messed up, I don't want you to come back, but I want you here.

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I have a friend, and my friend confuses me. My friend, makes the conflict in me come alive. Because my friend doesnt know what friend wants. Please don't confuse me, anymore. If its better to go, then just go, Because I've dealt with too many people coming in and out of my life, you're just another proof that people don't stay for long.

Don't try to pump faith and hope in me, because the're all gone. Long gone.
there's nothing anyone or you, could say to me, that can change anything in me right now. no, nothing.