eternity.

Everyone is waving goodbye 2009 back at their blogs, and welcoming 2010, with their new year resolutions. And I havent done any of that. Sooooo, here goes.

Honestly, 2009 was one of the toughest years for me. I figured , I'd be sixteen in 2009, and I wont cry and break down in front of teachers in Secondary 4 and classmates, but I still did. I had to go through so much, I'm not looking for sympathy when I cry, I cry because I felt fragile, and it was my way of breathing from such a crowded area full of troubles. It was something new for all 5 of us in the family. & it was definitely a test from God. And no matter what, we all have to go through it. I'm thankful I've a very happy jovial mum who always looks on the bright side, and two wonderful siblings, who'd be there for me to lend me a listening ear. & to go through it all with them, I'd choose any day and any time to go through it with them. 2009 was one hell of a hectic year for me.

But I wanna thank a handful of people who has always been there for me. These people, I would love to spend forever with you guys. And when I say always, I meant ALWAYS. Without fail. Eyzan Heifer. My girl, you've been there for me, for always. even if it meant late night texts, last minute meetups, you're there , girl. Always, to listen to care, to sincerely give advices. you took time to listen to me, and i love our heart to heart talks. No matter how troubled I am, I know I can count on you , girl. I don't know how you spot it, you could tell whenever I was troubled.

Candaye and Ayu, you two , took time to listen, to spend time with me, and tried to ease the troubles off my mind. I dont know how you managed to do it, but you did it alright. Candaye, all the calls, cheer ups, texts, all the meetups, they meant alot to me. Even if I never stopped talking even after 10 minutes, you'd still listen. And gave me tops and strong advices. Ayu, I remember after we got back our Physics results, and I cried, because i studied so hard for it, you never stopped turning behind and never stopped comforting me till I was okay. I was really touched. I spent alot of time with you in Sec 4, and I loved every moment of it. All the laughters, getting drunk on ice cream soda, yep, that was all done with you, girl.

Royhan and Dyla. My 'siblings'. You two have really been there for me like how a family should be for each other. I was really touched by how concerned you guys were with my condition, and how you all were willing to text and call me, to ask how I'm feeling. The fun we had was the best. I know I can turn to you guys , to be there for me, cuz I know you would be there for me. Thank you, Abang and Sis. Even up till now.

Sasa, Af, Aq, Cit. These four of you, all the laughters, long chats on the phone, everything. I miss all that, I really do. And you guys have always been there for me. Sasa, although you're busy, you still want to spend time with me, and have heart to heart talks with me, I really appreciate all that. There might have been some misconception between us , but I know we'll be okay. No matter what. Af & Aq. Haha, my extremely protective close guyfriends. You guys , never fail to keep me smiling eh. All our late night conferences , they really meant alot to me really, I didnt know my opinion mattered that much to you guys. Cit, hey girl, we have alot to catch up on, but even that, throughout 2009, you still have been there. You still meet up with me after school , just to take time to listen to me. And I appreciate that so much. Really, the four of you, you've been really understanding.

Mohd Nana. Although we're not close anymore, you were one of the closest to me in 2009. You understood me, you kept me grounded, you made sure I was okay, you made tons of sacrifices, you did so much for me. I dont know what happened, but I know, I'm treasuring those times for life. You knew better than I did myself. Thanks for that.

& those i was just close to, Aqillah. Another 'sibling '. The first day that we met, we shared so much. All our feelings about things, and laughters. And that when we started the sisters rock band, that was when all of us came togther and shared so much. Hehe! The bomb eh, Aqillah! & also Muhammad Khairil & Farah Amira. You've been there to always make me laugh :D

these people have seen me in the worst states, and they never fail to make me laugh.And to keep me who I am today. thank you so much, all of you. I plan to spend forever with you guys, Insyaallah. Because in 2009, when I'm troubled, only you handful stayed to help me pick myself up.

Those who knew me, Hidayah, Mahirah & many many more, thanks for doing all you can :D

Time for resolutions. I realised in 2009, I developed an attitude, following Fir's egoistic moves ( in a good way ), some, its called arrogant or action , but to me, its part of being a woman. And I plan to keep this attitude in 2010 and forever in my life. There was someone who changed me, and gave me an outlook of life I should have seen. I never saw a problem in not spending time with my friends during holidays or just hanging out and spending quality time, but someone opened up my eyes. That was when I learned the importance of having the comapny you should have. And being independent, and doing the things I wanna do, and not what people tell me to do. This someone, has always been special, and will always be, I promise you that. Phonecalls are always great and we never fail to share all that we feel. love is universal, just depends how you look at it.
I know in 2009, I was weaker. But in 2010, my stand and resolution is to make my heart learn to get stronger and not fall at every setback in life, because that's not the way it should be. I should get stronger, not diminishing my spirits everytime trouble comes. I want to learn from every mistake and push myself to have a further intake on life, all the downs and all the ups.
My next resolution, is to study hard. I left my secondary school life , & im ready to start afresh. In secondary school, I admitt, I played alot, didnt bother to improve, but in JC, insyaallah, Im willing to go all out and do well for my As'. If its anything 2009 taught me, its taught me that there's time to play and there's time to give it your all. From JC 1 to make it up to JC 2, its not easy. I know of so many who's retained. So imma give it my best.
Next resolution, be a wonderful friend, daughter and sister. I want to be there for all that has been there for me, and showered me with love and care. <3
Next resolution, DANCE. & E asked me to try soccer. I wanna do something I love, and accomplish success there. And no one's gonna hold me back this time round. Im not in to be intimidated anymore.

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I might just slowly pick up and go. You were indeed , the best. Don't forget that. You were the best part of 2008, and then 2009 where you taught me so much. I wish . . . you'd never go away.