eternity.

Be Strong & Live it all like before.

I don't know how I can love you so much, when I have friends that throw your kind away like clothes. But you did that to me. & I may never know why. So its been a total misunderstanding, but I hope its for reasons I'm thinking of. At least then I know a way to fix it. Right now, I'm confused. I don't want to be.

Dear Best Friend,
You've been great, supportive and wonderful. & its not like I meant to push you away. It was never the intention. But YOU KNOW all I want, is to live life the way it is, and get on. I've my Os to worry about, & I'm no longer interested in heartaches. Yes I still feel for him, and you know that, so don't be at it, asking questions, expecting answers you want. You'd think I'd have the heart to do all of this, to push you away after all the help & support you've given me, I DON'T. I told you before & I'm telling you once more, I want more time with my girlfriends & you just need to understand. I still love you the same, best friend. But you have to stop thinking too much.

Let it all out, Myra.
You'll be okay :D

Alright, my thoughts & plans of quitting drama and joining malay dance, well, I don't think that's gonna happen. Mum and Dad's probably gonna object, saying its a minah cca, but its about trying out something new. You're only a minah only if you wanna start acting and THINKING like one. Yes, people there are malay orientated but you have a choice. There always is. You can choose to follow, or not. But I believe in staying true to myself & I've got confidence that I'll stay myself. But these few days, lately, I haven't been able to recognise myself. From the way I speak, from the way I react to new situations, and from how I'm holding myself down & definitely, my attitude. I turned so explicit with language and its honestly, starting to scare me. This year, I'm sitting for my Os, but I'm spending time on the phone, yakking and laughing, telling myself I have time, but I'm not working hard. Take maths for example, I could'nt understand a single thing Miss Deepa was teaching. Why? Because my mind's constantly drifting, & I've not been able to focus. So Myra, its time you get a grip and start realising the importance of the O levels. It determines MY future, and I want to be a six pointer. If I don't start now, I'll end up in tears & distress. I know myself I don't want that. Dear God, please keep me strong and rooted, because I really wanna work hard this time round. I may have improved during the eoys' but its not good enough. Amin.

Its just takes focus. No more slacking. More updates.
Pool once in a while will do, but you have to stop lying and giving in to temptations.